We all live in a fast paced life, where we are constantly chasing our dreams, goals & aspirations. At some point in our life, each of us have established or are a part of a family. In the current world, most of us are part of a nuclear family, consisting of 2 partners, kids & probably a few pets. This is our unit, our team, our identity, this is home & this is where we belong. Yet, this is probably the team that gets the least priority & is put in the back-burner all the time.
I have wondered why this happens, when we build a family, we are all so excited & happy. We want to do everything right, we seem to make all the right choices, then what happens? Where do we go wrong. Why do most families either fall apart or suffocate within the close doors.
When we start a family, more often than not, 2 people come together with some level of shared goals & values. There is a drive to achieve a common dream & build and identity for themselves, something that would give them a sense of belonging, something that they create and call their own. Everyone wants a piece of the world & everyone wants to be loved by their own.
However, as time progresses & we as individuals evolve & mature. Besides the shared dream, we have our own goals, aspirations, perspectives, influences, priorities & opportunities. And it’s perfectly alright to own our individuality while operating as a family. Our individuality must not be butchered for the sake of our family. Infact, the idea of family is to care, share, appreciate and grow together.
Fundamentally, I think it’s very important to set & realign goals every year for our family. Evaluate what worked & what doesn’t work. It’s not just expectations setting with the partner, but also with the kids. A lot of us tend to forget that kids are growing & maturing as fast as we are. Their needs, personalities & priorities are changing, and so our parenting techniques should also change. In most families, over a period of time, things are done a certain way & they continue to work in the same way, till it gets frustrating. There is a certain role that is played as the dad, mom, child, husband, wife, sister, brother which becomes monotonous & regimental. As our personalities change, these roles become a formality & a burden. Unless expectations are reset, there is no way to rejuvenate or refresh the family with happiness & infuse a breath of fresh air.
At the end of the day, we all want to be part of something that brings us happiness, joy, enthusiasm & gives us a sense of fulfillment & belonging. As our kids grow and go into the world and set up their own space, we want them to hold happy memories, good values, great attitude & a confident personality to achieve their dreams. What our kids become reflects the values we instilled in them. So take time every year to hold a mini family meeting & let everyone set their own expectations, goals & priorities. Unless you are happy in your own space and able to love yourself truly, you will never be able to unconditionally love your family. The beauty & success of a family is when each member is able to experience happiness individually & collectively. So go on & reset your happiness quotient!